And so it begins....

So tomorrow is the big day. I spent quite a chunk of time today doing food prep for the week. Weighing out my chicken and my sweet potatoes and brown rice, measuring out my green beans and broccoli. I will weigh in first thing in the morning and begin my new program, complete meal plan and workouts. Never have I been so ready to start! Seriously, today I had Justin take pictures of me for the starting point - the end of my bulking phase and before starting with my trainer. I have to say, I felt so discouraged by looking at those pictures. It made me feel disgusting, inferior, negative thought, you name it. I wanted to cry. But after texting my friend Talia and telling her how I was feeling I realized that this negative thinking was going to do me no good. There was a purpose for this bulking and I need to use these negative thoughts to fuel my fire, to push myself that much harder. I know that it's going to be a challenge in the months ahead. But I have 8 months to get contest ready. I'm going to be leaning out for the next 4 months and then the next 4 months will be the cutting. I have plenty of time to get in the absolute best shape of my life. And I need to enjoy the ride. My husband asked me today, when will you be happy with yourself. And I told him, I honestly don't know. I know that it's not just about my physical fitness and health, it's really about my emotional and psychological health. That is so much harder than the working out and eating healthy. So much more. So that is going to be my goal for this year. Not only will I amaze myself with what I can do and how I can transform myself, I'm also going to really working on loving myself for who I am. Not for what I see on the outside. And accepting myself. I am determined to grow as a person through this whole experience.
My goals for this week: Stay completely on-point with my meal plan, no extra bites. Another goal is with my thoughts. If I have to, I'm going to avoid mirrors as much as possible. But I will not criticize my body, I will not make myself feel inferior. I am strong and I am determined!
Let's see what changes I can make in the next couple of weeks! I cannot wait to see the transformation. I'm hoping to post progress pictures once a month, so after a month I will post my before pic and my current picture!
Now, LETS DO THIS!!!!!